Let’s be honest: moving can be really hard, whether local or long-distance. And it can be even more difficult when there are young children involved. Your kids vie for your attention throughout the process, and they may also feel anxiety about the significant changes ahead.
Understanding the effect a move can have on your children can help you prepare for the adjustments and challenges ahead. We're here to help you smooth the transition with a few helpful moving tips.
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As stressful as moving is for adults, it’s not any less so for our children. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology documents that moving is tough on kids and that the effects on their mental health sometimes manifest in adulthood (like in establishing social connections and a sense of self). The effects are potentially even more problematic for kids who are introverted or anxious or have an inflexible personality, who may struggle with securing friendships and developing strong self-worth.
One important factor to consider is the loss that children experience in moving. Moving may trigger sadness around the loss of friends, teachers, and activities. Other adverse effects of moving include academic challenges, self-esteem and self-worth issues, and separation anxiety.
Military families’ kids undergoing a transfer and kids whose families are not only moving but going through a significant life stressor like divorce or a job loss may also show signs of stress and upset.
On a more positive note, a move is also an opportunity to live in and learn about a new town, meet new friends, and be exposed to new cultures and a different way of life. Moving can also provide a fresh start for children who've dealt with academic problems or issues with friends.
Whether you’re booking a moving company or checking out the new neighborhood, it's important to prepare your kids and make them part of those preparations—no matter their ages.
Infants are usually less affected by a move because they are too young to comprehend much of it. However, your stress level or inability to care for them as you normally do can cause your baby to become irritable and restless. To make things easier:
Toddlers may have a hard time adjusting to the move initially, but they’ll likely fall into the swing of things if you take care to create a sense of normalcy and explain the move in a way they can understand. Remember:
Elementary and middle school kids may need more time to adjust to their new surroundings. Keep an open discussion going about the move, and include them in decisions when appropriate. Some helpful tips are to:
Moving is often hardest for teenagers, as they have well-established friendships and even romantic relationships. They will need time to get used to the idea and work through any emotions they feel. To help:
If you’re moving across the country or internationally moving, you’ll want to take extra measures to help kids adjust as smoothly as possible.
The more frequently a family moves, the more critical the need for familial stability becomes. Preparation and active involvement are important concepts for moving kids of all ages. Children need to know the relocation plan, have a sense of involvement in the plan, and have a reason to feel excited about the move.
With the proper support from parents, moving can be a positive experience for children, leading to increased self-confidence and fostering interpersonal skills.
Would you like to learn more about moving with kids? Check out Move.org for The Only Moving Checklist You’ll Ever Need.
Moving can be difficult for a child of any age, but some research indicates that moving is easier on kids under the age of five.
You can better prepare for moving with kids by telling them why and where you are moving, explaining the benefits of the move, and being honest about the life changes that will accompany the move. Involve your kids in the house-hunting process and let them participate in the decision-making process.
Before you start packing up your belongings, pack a bag of essentials for when you first arrive at your new home, including some clothes, toiletries for kids, favorite toys, and books.
Sometimes kids can feel a sense of sadness about moving because of the loss of friends, familiarity, and routines. Parents can help kids see the bright side of a move by staying calm, being prepared, and highlighting the opportunities awaiting them in their new community.
Moving with kids is easier when you’re well prepared. Check out these resources to help the moving process go more smoothly.
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